Главная  |  Фанфики  |  Fanfics

Словарик  |  Связаться с нами  |  Форум

Author:
Cheb

An Unsuitable Person

* * *



HONORIFICS: Hiba-chan = granny. It's how Shampoo addresses Cologne. Baa-san is similar, but more respectful. It's how Akane addresses Cologne. Onii-san = big brother. It's a standard kid's addressing for the younger adults.

* * *

BUGS:

1. There was a huge, truck-sized plot hole in the original Bleach manga: obviously Tite Kubo-sensei didn't plan it far ahead at the start, so the later development conflicted with the earlier scenes (I mean Ichigo's dad, for those of you who knows). It was corrected in the latest anime “ but guess, what? I have copied it exactly, in all its ugly glory. I feel utterly ashamed of myself... I patched the Ch.1 with this release, Souun has been removed from the picture.

2. I had Akane use a mallet in the Ch.1, which is an ugly fanon. She beats either with her fists or with the nearest handy blunt object (a vase, a chair, a wooden sandal, et cetera). Corrected.

* * *

A/N: About the kendo match (manga v21 ch 10). Akane fought Kuno seriously only for two short moments, and both times he was driving her back. Kuno is better than her with a sword. Besides, her main problem isn't any lack of skill, it's other things that... impair her.

A/N#2: The Tendous aren't just a family. They are a «house» as the noble clans are called in Japan. This was deliberately dropped in the translation - alas, I can't say more than that. I keep promising myself to purchase the manga in original Japanese, but that promise is yet to be fulfilled.

Chapter 3.

(Where nothing prominent happens but the cards are laid upon the table.)

* * *

“Well, it's time to go," Rukia said, inconspicuously approaching Shampoo and Ukyou and bringing out what looked like a lighter.

Poof! Colored smoke rushed in all directions, a goofy duck head bobbing on a long spring. “Now..."

“Nnng..." Ukyou closed her eyes, forming the 'power' hand seal, her index fingers up. “Kai!" Her eyes opened in defiance.

Shampoo just shook her head from side to side, blinking several times and sneezing. “Hmph! Even Shampoo can do stronger potions!"

“You won't get off that easily," Ukyou added, crossing her arms.

Rukia's head slumped. “Now I'm in the even deeper trouble."

“What was that?" Akane asked, confused.

“She tried to brainwash us, and make us forget everything," Ukyou explained nonchalantly.

“Did not work," Shampoo added with a huff.

“Ah," Akane exclaimed, understanding dawning on her. “It's how my family forgot the attack yesterday!"

“What attack?" asked Shampoo.

“Um..." Akane looked downcast. “You see, I had just returned home, when...."

“Excuse me, ladies," Rukia interrupted them, “But there is one important thing we must attend first," she said, looking at Akane's ice claymore. “Having your zanpakuto in the Shikai form without proper training can inflict grievous harm on your spirit." She turned to Ukyou. “Don't get involved in this matter, please! Is there a way to dissuade you?"

“Nope," Ukyou refused adamantly.

“Is no," Shampoo added in the exact same tone.

“Please understand," Rukia continued, “This fight is not meant for mortals. The dangers are beyond your imagination!"

“Oh, please," Ukyou snorted. “I fought these things when I was nine!"

“The more danger," Shampoo added, “the more is that airen follow tomboy. If she not die before he come back."

Akane bristled.

“That's right," Ukyou agreed. “Ran-chan has such a big heart. He'll surely join his uncute fiancee in her fight. And that means that I, the cute fiancee, must be there as well!"

Akane ignited. “Excuse me...!" she began, but fell silent, hearing a very ominous 'plip, plop...' from her zanpakuto. She slowly turned her eyes downward. The sword was thawing. She emitted a startled, panicky “Ack!" sh her battle aura guttering out instantly. The ice claymore fell from her suddenly awkward hands, plunging tip-first into the ground and barely missing her toe.

“We can't loiter any more," Rukia said, resigned. “Especially with you blazing your spiritual power like that. Come." She turned and hastily took off in a particular direction. The two material girls and the spirit-in-training one shrugged but followed her.

* * *

Ryouga was utterly lost: he somehow managed to fall behind Mousse and Ranma on their walk to the train line. Ryouga was utterly depressed: now he won't be able to meet Akane as a man, despite all the troubles. He should have stayed a pig forever and died quietly under some bush. Or got eaten — the exact details didn't matter. At least his fragile heart of glass would be at peace then.

He stumbled over something, returning to the harsh, cold reality. There was a backwater village around him, and in the middle of the dirt road lay the bird cage he stumbled upon.

“Ouch," said the parrot inside the now dented cage, flopping to its feet and ruffling its feathers.

“Sorry," Ryouga said to the little fellow and bent down to right the cage. “Why would they put a parrot in the middle of a road? Do they want someone to run you down?"

“Don't touch it!!" the shrill yell rang in his ears. Ryouga turned around. Behind him was an old toothless farmer in a shapeless hat and thick glasses. “Young man! This bird is cursed, I tell you!"

“So am I," Ryouga replied solemnly, lifting the cage at his eye level. “So am I."

“You don't understand!" the old man was on the verge of having a fit, spit flying everywhere. “All of its owners died an untimely death! Every last one of them!"

“That would be a blessing," Ryouga said ruefully, then shook his head. “No. Somehow I feel I cannot be so lucky. Come," he tucked the cage under his arm and turned to go.

* * *

“Hey, it's the stripe-hat man shop!" Shampoo exclaimed in surprise when they approached their destination.

“Hmm?" Ukyou looked at the said building with some suspicion. “Do you know him? This place uh... smells funny."

“Of course. Hiba-chan buys some rare stuff from him."

Ukyou quirked her brow. “What sort of stuff?"

“Herbs," Shampoo shrugged. “Ingredients. For potions, ramen spicing, special shampoo... many things."

At the doors, a spike-haired boy was bossing around a quiet girl armed with a broom, a few strands of her shiny black hair hanging over her face.

“Can I see the owner?" Rukia asked him.

“No. He's busy," the boy replied, and went on torturing his unresponsive victim.

“It's an emergency!" Rukia added. “The situation may be dire."

“O'key, o'key!" the boy grumbled and went inside.

Soon a tall man appeared, clad in wooden sandals, striped hat and yukata. He had a short, disheveled blond hair and a light stubble. There were deep shadows around his eyes under the wide brim of his hat.

“Nihao!" Shampoo greeted him merrily.

“Hello there, Shampoo," he lifted his hat a bit, looking around at the assembled group. “What an interesting turn of events, indeed. Even our young okonomiyaki genius is here." Ukyou blushed slightly. “And the heir to the Tendou dojo, as I see..."

“I apologize for intruding," Rukia said, “but she needs her Shikai sealed before it's too late."

“I see," the man said. “Why don't we take this talk inside?"

* * *

Somewhere else, atop a gently sloped roof, sat one small but powerful being. It sat in a deep meditation, moving like a diver in the spiritual dimension - the dimension only scant few knew of and none of those could say they dared to dive into it. Well, this being wasn't human anymore, so it could bend some rules...

The physical world was still around, but blurred out and washed into ghostly shades of gray. The black sunlight pressed at the world like a tangible all-penetrating force, only the living plants provided any protection from it, creating the backwater pools of calm. The trees and grass were glowing a deep violet with a slight pine tang. The people's emotions flowed upwards from the streets like ethereal puffs of colored mist. The kids playing down on the street shone pure white, spiking sometimes with the needles of black. The female undergarments hanging on the other side of the street shone brightly, with their peculiar warm, sweet and pink not-color. The being resisted temptation. Not yet. It rose it's head sharply, feeling something odd. There. A light distortion in the distance, like a heat haze. And a hint of a too-familiar smell... The being concentrated, carefully pushing itself deeper. Better not overdo, we don't want to phase all the way down to Hueco Mundo like that time, don't we...?

The world had gone completely gray, but the disturbance over the distant rooftops was more distinct now. It was already dissipating, dissolving against the night-black sky. The event transpired a sizable time ago, but there could be no mistake: a low-level Hollow was dispelled in a way only Shinigami were able to. Not an entirely rare occurrence, but this time it felt also like something... or somebody very familiar. Looked like things were getting interesting, at last! But later. Its energy reserves depleted by the long dive, the being hastily resurfaced back to where the sky was blue, the grass was green... and the recharge kit awaited it.

“Sweeto!"

* * *

The girls, Urahara, and his mighty, mustached assistant were comfortably seated around the table, Akane's zanpakuto already sealed into an ordinary-looking katana with a seemingly simple short spell.

“And so, these two got involved, and then just refused to go," Rukia concluded. “Making Akane a Shinigami, while a serious violation, was justified by circumstances. But letting these two stubborn girls get involved was not. Making the existence of Shinigami known to mortals..."

“Oh, then I presume, you didn't meet Ranma yet?" Urahara interrupted her.

“Ranma? Who is she?" Rukia asked, losing her line of thought.

“He, although you can as well say she," Urahara explained, “is the local celebrity, a young, talented and obnoxious star of the martial arts world. Well, you have already met his fiancee squad." He took a pointed look at the girls.

The latter reacted passionately and simultaneously:

“Shampoo no fiancee! Is already wife by Amazon law!"

“Ran-chan should me mine! I'm his only rightful, cute fiancee!"

“I... we... It was our parent's idea!"

“He has three fiancees?!" Rukia exclaimed. Well, her shock was understandable, but still blurting the words like that can cost you in these parts.

“Is airen! Only me..."

“...Nobody but me is fit for Ran-chan's..."

“...Hmph! See if I care!"

“Uh..." Rukia was taken aback by the storm she brewed.

“Careful," Urahara warned her. “You don't know what you are involving yourself with."

“Anyway," Rukia coughed, and continued in her best serious tone, spoiled as always, by her being a tiny woman, sounding cute instead of harsh. “Akane is trained as a berserk..."

“I am not!" Akane protested reflexively.

“Yes, you are." Rukia pinned her with a harsh glare. “So, in order for her to survive what is to come, she must re-learn her Ki-control, which is anger-based now. She needs to keep her control and keep her calm. Especially as her zanpakuto is an ice-type blade."

“Hmm..." Urahara began. “Not an easy task, but perhaps..."

“I think I know what to do," Cologne's voice interrupted from behind.

Everybody present, including Urahara, jumped in surprise.

“Ah, Kohlong-chan!" the shop owner exclaimed jovially. “Still sharp as ever, and still able to sneak up on me!"

The quiet, weird-haired girl's head poked from behind the door frame. “It's all right, Ururu," Urahara calmed her. “Don't worry." Ururu's head nodded silently, then disappeared.

“Don't make the old woman blush," Cologne admonished him, laughing. Then turned to Akane. “So, the Tendou heir bit off more than she can chew, didn't she?"

Akane just fumed silently.

“Don't be afraid, my child," Cologne continued a tad too cheerfully. “I know just the right thing to fix your issues!"

* * *

Elsewhere, the chilling mists cling to the mountains covered with a dense, almost primeval forest where moss covers both the immensely tall trees and the sodden ground. Two grumpy guys trudge resignedly through this inhospitable terrain where only the innumerable mosquitoes feel lively.

“Remind me again," Ranma grumbles, “why did we even think of giving him all our money to keep?"

Mousse shrugs indifferently, straightening his glasses, which he has on, for a change.

“Yeah, right," Ranma says. “The last time it was you, and we had to work part time just so we could go on."

Mousse doesn't reply, still trying to find some tracks of Ryouga — who would think he's also a certified tracker and trapper of his village?

“Why didn't you trust me with the money?" Ranma asks at last, his irritation going in circles.

Mousse shrugs again, uncomfortably this time, and avoids his gaze.

“Oh, yeah! You two goons were afraid I'd just dump you." Ranma snorts in contempt. “And that's after I saved you sorry hides! Twice!"

While they aren't watching, the rain clouds close rapidly and it starts to pour - a typical, quite frequent occurrence among northern Japan, Hokkaido, Sakhalin and the Kuril archipelago, where travelers cannot survive without the modern waterproof clothing or a traditional heavy-duty umbrella like the one Ryouga uses.

“Just great," the cold, thoroughly soaked girl grumbles, picking the sodden heap of clothes from the dirt and trying to wring it somehow. “What now?"

The duck gives a dignified quack.

“That's it!" onna-Ranma throws the robes back onto the dirt. “Screw him! Let's stop here to dry, then go straight home! I don't care if I have to ride on top of the train all the way!"

* * *

“But hiba-chan, how could you do this! She outsider! She obstacle!" Shampoo was beside herself after Cologne announced her intention to train Akane in the advanced techniques of their tribe.

“Oh, you're afraid of her getting stronger now, Shampoo?" her shriveled relative retaliated, pogoing toward the storage closet. “Now, where did I put that harness..."

Shampoo bristled. “Sham... I not afraid of anything!"

Cologne smirked while her grand-granddaughter could not see. “Well, you can start now," she said. “If I'm any judge of character, Akane will get better soon. Much better." Ha, this will surely wake you up, she thought.

“But hiba-chan! I see the need to train Akane: if she dies, I lose airen to her forever, that's right. But why didn't you teach me these techniques?"

“Why her but not you?" Cologne replied, digging through the shelves. “Aha, there it is." She pulled out a box, putting it aside. “And when did you ask me to?"

“Umm... I did not?"

“That's right," Cologne said flatly. “You've never shown any motivation to learn these techniques."

“But I learned the Chestnut Fist, yes?"

“That was how long ago?" Cologne pulled down another box. “Pack this, this and this one... Learn it you did, true. Bud did you master it?"

“Well..." Shampoo fidgeted uncomfortably, then bent down and started packing the boxes.

Cologne didn't want to hurt her beloved grand-granddaughter's feelings, hoping beyond any reason that she would use her head as intended, instead of smashing the walls with it, and figure it all out by herself — but there was no stalling the truth forever. Their time ran out.

“Face it, Shampoo. Since you've reached the position of the best in your generation among your tribe, you grew complacent, thus stunting your skill growth."

The young one stood up sharply. “Shampoo ain't..." She gave an unhappy sigh. “You're right, granny. This year I learned many good and useful skills, but none of them were warrior's."

“So you admit it at last." Cologne nodded sagely. “Now, what do you plan to do?"

“Hiba-chan, I'll..." She abruptly put the box down, turned to Cologne and said, bowing deeply: “Honored Elder, this one humbly asks you to teach her the secrets of your Art of battle."

“I accept," Cologne replied with dignity. “Now, finish packing this and gather your own things. We are leaving as soon as possible. I need to visit the House Tendou yet."

* * *

They didn't have the luxury of leaving the city: there was no one beside Akane to protect it from the evil spirits now. Still, the Japanese cities are like that: they fill the rare plains of this mountainous terrain, flowing around the steep hills and other ungainly terrain like water. Of course, Tokyo takes the biggest flatland of the entire archipelago, but Nerima is at its edge and isn't overly populated.

They hadn't had to go too far to get onto an outcropping of wilderness and set their camp without extra witnesses around.

“Baa-san," Akane asked nervously, eying the vanilla envelope Cologne purchased from Nabiki before they left. “What is it?"

“That," Cologne replied with the evil glint in her eye, “would be our training tools".

Akane shuddered, remembering the brutal training Ranma had undergone that involved photographs. No, it cannot be, she tried to reassure herself.

“And now," Cologne announced solemnly, “your training begins. At the end of this week you'll be well versed in the... Soul of Ice!"

Akane felt the ice right away. The one crawling along her spine, that's it.

 

 

 

~~ End of Chapter 3 ~~

* * *

Thanks for C&C to:

— lwf58

— borgrabbit

— Ahye

— people who contributed using the Orphus system (2 bugs so far).

Last correction December 12, 2008

Next chapter >>

Поэтому — присылайте ошибки! =^^=